I know I could not have possibly thought that quitting drinking would magically make all my problems disappear, but I guess I would thinking I would feel less overwhelmed by life.  I have so much on plate and such a tiny fork to dig in with…

Wait, just typing those words helped release something. Yes, I have a TON to do today. Yes, it all MUST be done today. Yes, my husband is going out of town for a few days, which certainly increases the amount on my plate. BUT, I am going to be doing ALL of it with a clear head. A clear head. No swirls, no distractions.

Holy crud-I just had a thought. Maybe one of the reasons that I had been drinking WAY too much is that I secretly believe that if I do not succeed at something (like this pile of life in front of me), that I always have an excuse that I really was not trying my hardest. That I could have done more/been more if I had tried harder, but since I was drunk-well-I obviously was not trying my hardest. And therefore, if I failed it was not a real reflection of the real me.

Strange how this blogging stuff really opens my eyes at times. It is also a really good thing that I thought about this as I just signed a CONTRACT with the person I thought I had blown it with in the email weeks ago. I know for a fact I will have to be present and putting out my best to fulfill this contract. I AM SO SCARED!  What if I fail?

What if I fail? What if I fail? What if I fail?

Eeck…will have to think on that one some more.